[posts]


Theseus Will Not Come
by Asterion
07 MAR 2026

I wanted to make my first real post about a project I've been doing fermenting raisin water into wine, but since that's taking a while I may as well tell you something else in the meantime.

In my first post on this blog I predicted that "my chrysalis is beginning to close, if it hasn't already", and that "sooner or later I think I'm going to emerge more free and beautiful than ever". A year later, it feels as if the opening of my chrysalis is coming to pass. Indeed, the metaphor is only more apt as this comes toward the end of a long personal winter. When the caterpillar forms it's chrysalis and begins the process of turning into a butterfly, it mostly dissolves into a nutrient-rich soup that the leftover bits use to form its new self. It's chaotic in a way, but this chaos is necessary for the complete metamorphosis.

In the months since I've started my first job, I've come into and out of a dark place. I've been in a dark place before from circumstances outside of my control, but that happened when I was still a child. I couldn't have emerged better or learned anything from it like I could now. Like I did now. The tyranny of wage labor slowly made me into a bitter, helpless person that felt even more trapped in the Labyrinth. I would do nothing at home but play video games and watch The Sopranos. I had lost my natural creative impulses. My thoughts in general became darker, and on the job I'd frequently think about running away or having a mental breakdown.

On January 7, a few days after returning from the yearly Christmas break, I had been feeling particularly shitty. I had gotten caught "slacking" twice from what I remember, and toward the end of the day I was very close to blowing up and storming off. Yet by what I can only guess to be divine intervention, in the same moment I was ready to chew out the next overbearing supervisor that crossed me, the president of the company had come to ask me for a conversation in his office. It began with the topic of my declining work ethic, but when I shared my side of the story he agreed to put me on a part-time schedule! I should also add that same day, a red cardinal had flown into the warehouse I work in and couldn't find it's way out. I was the one who eventually freed it.

It has taken me a few months, but thanks in large part to that I am no longer that miserable. It greatly helped with what I now understand to be the growing pains of transitioning from my former sheltered childhood to existing in the real world. Yet there is still more to be done! I decided this week that I'd end this personal winter. I cannot stay sheltered forever, but I refuse to engage in the enslaved civilized lifestyle. This is the point where I will have to begin planning my escape. There will be no Theseus to grant me mercy from the Labyrinth.

To quote a great inspiration of mine:
"So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun. If you want to get more out of life, Ron, you must lose your inclination for monotonous security and adopt a helter-skelter style of life that will at first appear to you to be crazy. But once you become accustomed to such a life you will see its full meaning and its incredible beauty." -Chris McCandless